Lunagraphy

by The Main Chance

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1.
In my young life I’ve known the path Kept my eyes ahead In my young life I’ve known my own pace I wax and I wane In my young life I've known loneliness More than love If love I've known at all I've woken up Wishing for the touch Of another’s hand But it's not just the touch It's what the touch means And I know that in order To engage with another you have to Be patient, forgetful of all past pain, And most of all be brave But I’m none of those things And so I rise And let cold water Run over my hands I put each foot in front of the other Day after day Oh, would that I were equal to the world
2.
Those are the steps that I walk down Those are the steps that made a sound Those are the steps that I walk down Those are the steps that made a sound Every time I walk those red Steps a thought went through my head Every time I walked those red Steps a thought went through my head Of you descending the wooden staircase A Dixie cup right in your hand And how I caught your wandering gaze Swore I’d remember it all my days Instead I only think about How I used to think about you Now I only think about How I used to think about you When I found out you knew my name It was something simple, something vain When I found out you knew my name It was something simple, something vain I ran home just to write it down To keep the feeling, keep it around I ran home just to write it down To keep the feeling, keep it around Sometimes I’ll go back and read Of the futile heart of that other me Sometimes I’ll go back and read Of the futile heart of that other me And I only think about How I used to think about you Now I only think about How I used to think about you You walked tall like a dancer would I tried to find you if I could You walked tall like a dancer would I tried to find you if I could But I didn’t need to try You were always in my eye Stacks, the grass, and the wooden stairs Like as not you would be there I came to think of you as my Guardian angel from on high I came to think of you as my Guardian angel sent from high Now I only think about How I used to think about you Now I only think about How I used to think about you Years past now since you’ve been gone Then came a daydream like the dawn Your skirt caught the grass we shuffled through Dampened the hemline with the dew Now this image has replaced Everything of the older days Memory is not a choice Your copper hair, your lovely voice But in the dust, the room, the broken chair The heater blows out the driest air A poster falls from off the wall It comes flooding back, it all Now I only think about How I used to think about you Now I only think about How I used to think about you
3.
There is no seeker of my will Nor justifier of the way I feel None to check that I’ve had my fill Above all else, know thyself Above all else, know thyself Think of the parable The parable Of the thinnest ice That can hold a man What’s on the other side of sorrow? What features will my face have tomorrow? Trees grow back after the fire If not the ponderosa pine Then the Gambel oak Think of the strength The strength Of the broken link Fallen from the chain There is some strength In a broken link Fallen from the chain When we ran out of trail Parted ways for our own strategies You retraced every step that you’d made I pushed on by sense and by sight I make my way by sense and by sight Think of the parable The parable Of the thinnest ice That can hold a man
4.
Buried coins in the gravel ground What is lost and never found Daddy pours the concrete down To anchor the swing set in the ground Buried coins in the gravel ground What is lost is lost Easter morning my sister and me Bunnies melted in the trees Stagger blind with a donkey’s tail The birthday boys scream and flail Easter morning my sister and me Bunnies melted in the trees A death scatter is easy to do A rubber band and my aim is true Black widows on the window pane Legs crumpled in sad decay A death scatter’s too easy to do A rubber band and my aim is true Garden hose keeps the desert at bay Listen to what the songbirds say Cats moved in and the songs were gone The preening pride, the feathers blown Garden hose keeps the desert at bay Remember what the songbirds used to say Buried coins in the gravel ground What is lost but never found Daddy finds the corpses in the morning Dig it deep, far from the coyote’s paw Daddy finds the corpses in the morning Dig it farther than the coyotes, Pa. Buried coins in the gravel ground What is lost is always lost
5.
6.
Face Again 04:05
You never know When you see them go If you’ll ever See their face again Remember The crossing guard Featured in The paper For his good works Two weeks later He was struck and killed As if god Had taken notice Of this man You never know When you see them go If you’ll ever See their face again I want to ask While I’ve got you While you’re here Have you ever Ever noticed Ever really noticed? The elemental detrimental shake of everything Flails and flops and bats around Like a hawk with just one wing Can you get the boss around And make him stand and sing
7.
((full)) 01:16
8.
I know you don’t think about it You don’t dwell or so it seems I know when you’ve gone and lain down I know that you sleep so sound You walked until you saw the water You balked at the end of the ledge How long til you turned and went home? How many more bets did we hedge? All that’s lost and gone away There will be a finer day All that’s lost and gone away There will be a finer day Bay windows blocked by flat screens Rooms filled with a new kind of light But always the same old darkness When eyes close at the end of the night This song is all the leaving This song is the flash of the knife This song is a baby teething This song is fire to melt the ice All that’s lost and gone away There will be a finer day All that’s lost and gone away There will be a finer day No no no no no no No no no no no no No no no no no no No no no no no no
9.
10.
Prayer Flags 06:14
I can see the prayer flags they fly Papa’s scarf is tied up high On the ridge and waving there Blowing in the Himalayan air I dress in Chicago And I prepare to go outside Into winter wondering If it compares To Himalayan air On the couch with Nana I sat singing songs She’d worn down a spot after a while Shifting her feet on the carpet pile And I’ve got worries of my own Though not nine children grown Still I’ve paced a heavy mile Wearing my own spot on the carpet pile Lately, I’ve been thinking about going home Lately, I’ve been wandering out alone Lately, I’ve been writing down memories Like stills from a video Of wind blowing through the trees Grandpa’s desk and the chairs that he’d made We left out in the rain Every time I sat in one It was a little more worn out by the sun I used to say my one living memory Was him sitting with Granny But it’s now been so overexposed Like after having looked for too long at the sun And lately I’ve been writing down memories Of my family before they fade away from me My family’s things are getting lost and old My family’s things are what is left to hold And they fade with use the same as memory So I write and write down everything I can recall Like stills from a video of wind blowing in the fall The trees bleaching out and losing all their leaves The film stops, the image blurs permanently
11.
(new) 00:39
12.
The end is sweet and near The end is sweet and not far off The end is sweet and near The end is sweet and not far off I like it here, at the end, It’s peaceful and quiet There is nothing but the rustling Of the plastic on the windows Spring had been knocking Snowmelt weeping from the eaves Tonight it’s all gone, full retreat, And we’re headed for a deep freeze The heater cycles on The house around me breathes Life and all it has brought Has got me on my knees Then I open up my computer screen Scroll through my hometown news And see in the public memorial feed A name I thought I’d never see From his family’s words I surmised a suicide “He found the peace that he’d sought” He dropped his life like a heavy rock No, no that’s not me That’s not my story So I won’t tell it To myself any more Come morning I wake up early to Leave this dark and lonely room In which I’ve learned to borrow In which I’ve waged my sorrows Cermak Prairie to Eighteenth Through the infrastructural labyrinth It’s a misty day on the frozen lake A misty day on the frozen lake The sun rising over Michigan Burns the mist away and it’s day again Forgive me my shallowness And my hard-hearted callowness The end is sweet and near The end is sweet and not far off The end is sweet and near The end is sweet and not far off And I think of what you’d said, It’s raging through my head, “All you’ll see are shadows If you never face the light. All you’ll see are shadows If you never face the light. All the world’s in shadow If you turn away from the light.”

credits

released April 10, 2014

All music and words by Will Gosner

Will Gosner: vocals, acoustic guitar, violin
John Paul Thompson: electric guitar, keyboards, violin
Seamus Quin Bartlett: drums and percussion
Jenn Romero: keyboards

Recorded and mixed by John Paul Thompson
Mastered by Collin Jordan at the Boiler Room in Chicago
Produced by Will Gosner and John Paul Thompson

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The Main Chance Chicago, Illinois

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